Countries that tend to suck at war.

Being in the great nation of US and A has made me think about something: War. There are some nations that simply should not go to war. As we all know, France is one of them. When reading this, most french people are likely to think: "Fuck that guy, Sweden suck at war too". I am aware of that fact, the difference between Sweden and France is that we have found the perfect solution to our problem. We simply do not to go to war. It's really not that complicated: If you can't swim, stay the fuck away from the pool.

But what other nations tend to suck at war? Italy don't have a very impressive track record, they couldn't beat Greece or Ethiopia. Greece hasn't had an army since the guys from the movie "300" died and all you have to do to beat Ethiopia is to rock-proof your tanks. Italy is just another country that needs to stick to what they know. In this case, it's greasy hair(on purpose), sunglasses that are too big, ending every single word with an E, being corrupt and spending a ridiculous amoung of time on something that the rest of the world considers to be fast-food.

Denmark is another fine example of what's mentioned above. Regarding their efforts in World War II, most Danish people would say: "At least we tried to defend ourselves". Here is how that went:

"Sir, the Germans are attacking!"
"As we expected! Give them all you--"
"Sir?"
"Yes?"
"We lost."

So, what preliminary precautions are there to take? In other words, how can a country know if they suck at war? The number of metrosexuals is a valid hint(Exhibit A: Sweden, Denmark, Italy and France all suck), the amount of stars 'n stripes on your flag is another. I guess, in the end, you'll just have to try and see. Denmark got it over with in the 40's, I'm still waiting for Sweden to have a go at someone. That being said, our army would be less useful in a conflict than Boy George & The culture club, singing: "Do you really want to hurt me?"

I do feel the need to address the fact that Sweden let the nazis pass through during World War II. There's a perfectly good explanation. Southern Sweden hosts a "special" cross-breed between Swedes and people who talk with their mouth full. All they needed to enter with their tanks was probably a valid passport and a smile.

I'd also like to thank Japan for the allies' victory. If they hadn't pissed off the U.S, we'd never have won. That has to be the stupidest of all moves, ever. Attacking the U.S is basically like walking up to a sleeping dragon, unzip, and press your penis against his forehead. Then, when he wakes up, you say: "Yes, that was on purpose."

I guess, in conclusion, people should stay out of trouble. Especially when they suck at trouble. Italy, Denmark and Sweden, just to name a few. And France too, of course. When talking about conflicts, some people need to learn, they'll always just end up giving away Statues of liberty.