the lizard king

There's one thing that always tends to get my attention: Random facts. Most of the time, it's just because I'm a total trivia-freak, but sometimes, I have to think: How the fuck did they figure that out, and why? I read a while back that there's a lizard that can climb up glass-windows and support like 16 times its own weight. Now, someone had to have spent time figuring that out. Is it just me, or did we just find the best job, like ever? If I were at a party, and someone asked me what I do for a living, I would love to have the genuine opportunity to say:

"Well, I test how much weight you can put on individual animals before they tip over."

And then keep a straight face.

Not only is there someone out there working on these kind of things, that person most likely has a degree of some sort. Imagine studying for years, just to have your work week look like this:

-So...what are we doing today?
-I think we're close to cracking that lizard case.
-Have you completed the special lizard backpack that will allow for us to test how much the designated reptile can carry?
-Yes, but unfortunately, I was just over the budget limit, since the little lizard flexi-straps are hard to come by these days.
-How much were you over?
-About 460 000 dollars. But it's okay, I re-routed some money from last years AIDS-benefit. We're good.
-Alright, let's get this show on the road. May god be with us.

2 years later

-We did it! This amazing lizard can carry 16 times its own weight! We must spread the word!
-Absolutely. If I had a girlfriend, or friends in general, I would like totally call them right now.
-It took us two years, but we did it. We finally did it. So...what do you want to do now?
-...the same thing, but with a squirrel?
-iiihh, I'll go get one! You go ahead and drain the fund from the cancer-benefit.

Global warming is about to melt the polar ice and we're all about to die. When I think of that, it makes me happy, knowing that there are qualified people out there, daily dedicating their entire existence to putting weights on small animals until they tip over. That's comforting.