Let's synchronize the world please.

Okay, I kind of feel the need to know why the world insists on being so fucking stupid? Don't worry, nothing bad happened to me or anything, but I simply thought of too many dumb things today to avoid writing something about the whole mess.

Now, let's see. I'd say the civilized world has existed for at least like 4 000 years. Ever since I can remember, we have thrived to become more "culturally integrated". Meaning we have killed, raped, hammered and spat on each other, like forever. In the midst of all this "integrating", we've come to learn a thing or two from each other. However, there seems to be a couple of inventions/activities that have all slipped through the cracks, and never got the complete and trans-national usage that they deserve.

Hence, here's a short list of things that are stupid, and should be the same in all places. I'd like to call the list: "Let's synchronize the world, please."

-The metric system: Hey, Ben Franklin, you should probably have told your trigger-happy, oreo pizza-addicted offspring that "kilo" means 1000, hence 1 KILO-gram = 1000 grams. "Deci" means ten, and so 10 DECI-meters, would hopefully create the marvel that is 1 full meter. Water boils at 100 degrees and freezes below zero. It doesn't matter how you put it, it simply makes sense. Then again, attacking Vietnam made sense too, and that turned out fabulous. I can see where you'd have trouble.

-GMT: This one is the easiest for me, yet it wouldn't make sense for most people. Let's say that the time is 3 PM in London. Why, in the name of poo-fucking-hell, isn't it 3 PM in the whole world then? If that was the case, you'd simply have to get used to the fact that 3 PM in Australia is night-time. How hard can it be, we're already used to the fact that December is summer there. Also, if we simply skipped the time-zones, then your boss wouldn't have to deal with your ridiculous placebo-faux-jetlag, that you supposedly acquired while spending four days in Cyprus, one hour ahead of Swindon, or wherever you happened to spawn.

The position of the @ symbol on your keyboard: As we speak, I'm trying to send an email from someone else's computer. Spending 30 minutes writing the email was super fun. Not being able to type the receivers full email-address, is moderate/no fun at all.

Having the original names for fictional characters: I don't see why Donald is "Kalle" in Sweden, and "Arne" in Denmark. Isn't that just linguistically crippling the youth of your country? Granted, Danish people can't properly pronounce 86 % of all words, but maybe "Donald" could be managed? If not, I can't wait for the televised broadcast where the Danish royal family get to meet American business mogul "Arne Trump". Not to forget his children, "Lego" and "Pölse" Trump.

-Driving on the right/left side of the road: Jesus fucking christ, just pick one?

-The fork: Is it just me, or is the fork a fucking spectacular invention? All honor given to the chop-sticks, but now that the concept of "world cuisine" exists, is it not possible to adapt, just a little bit? Sorry, but I imagine that eating a T-bone steak with chopsticks would be like trying to strangle a Grizzly bear with one dildo in each hand. Good luck with that, city of Osaka. (Lovin' your sushi, by the way!)

Those were just a couple of things, I'm sure there are more. If you have any suggestions, feel free.

// R