I really don't get ski-trips. It's almost at the same level as boat-trips, in terms of spending a ridiculous amount of money to live uncomfortably. Think about it, it's basically going on vacation just to get up earlier in the morning than usual. You pay money to get to use the lifts, and they only take you halfway to the good slopes. My friend hiked 5 hours to get to a great slope. In snow. With his equipment. You'd have to be a fucking mix between David Attenborough and Heman to go that far, just to enjoy the very complicated pleasure of "going downhill at moderate speed".
You can divide a ski-day into different segments:
-You wake up(fucking hungover out of your mind), not wanting to move for the whole day.
-You FORCE yourself out of bed, thinking that skiiing sounds about as appealing as a papercut on your testicles.
-Breakfast isn't included in the cabin and your friend had the munchies last night, even the fucking teabags are gone.
-Now it's about 9.00 AM and you're outside. 146 % of the time, your not wearing enough clothes.
-It's snowing and the lift can't open yet. You would think that they considered the factor of "snow" when designing a lift for a ski-resort.
-Around 12.00, you've been skiing for about an hour and you can't wait for lunch+hot chocolate.
-14.00, you're skiing after eating, which is about as clever as eating a big mac and then using a hoola-hoop.
-17.00, the lift closes and you can't wait to get totally pissed and sing along to "Who the fuck is Alice". I think Beethoven wrote that song. Or someone equally cultural.
-Thity minutes later, you know all the words to Hotel California. This is the high-point of your day. Just to let you know, The Eagles suck.
-Around midnight you're passed out. Your friends have written "Trailer trash pussy" on your forehead. In permanent marker. You have also aquired herpes and attempted to assasinate a snow-owl.
Did I miss anything, my dear ski-tards?
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4 comments:
I'm going skiing sunday. Thanks.
There's also the pretending to laugh at yourself whenever you fall even though you are in excruciating pain.
haha word, clem
..and the thrill of wearing skiboots for a whole day, spending time in ski lifts that has stopped due to the bliztering winds, always ending up behind the old lady that turns randomly on the traverses... then their's the good parts, but those you'll have to experience your self!
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