A koala bear does three things. It eats eucalyptys, has sex and sleeps. Taking the step from a koala bear to Heather Mills really isn't that hard, the only difference being that Mills get's her dose of eucalyptus from a chewing-gum. Heather Mills met Paul McCartney a while back and instantly fell in love. With the ratio between how much money he has and how big of a sucker he is. Even Anna Nicole Smith would have let him be, simply out of pity. Heather Mills didn't. They met a couple of years back and 15 minutes later, they were married. 30 minutes after that, Paul realised that he had made a huge mistake. No only did he marry a girl who looks like she fell off a cliff, he broke her fall with a huge pile of money. Here is how I imagine their first conversation. Please keep in mind that Paul was probably pretty horny at this point in time.
"Hi! I'm Heather, I'd tell you my last name but I can't pronounce double L's"
"Right...I'm Paul McCartney. Nice to meet you."
"Oh my god! You were in that band, the Beetroots!"
"Actually, it was the Beatles(I'd probably learn more by talking to a beetroot)"
"Of course, sorry! I don't know much, I only listen to the Spice Girls."
"Why wouldn't you, they're also sluts."
"I'm sorry?"
"I said: Why wouldn't you, they've got the country going nuts"
"Oh! Yeah, and also they're sluts. I like that."
"Okay..."
"...so...wanna do something crazy?"
"Sure, like what?"
"Give me ALOT of money, KIDDING!"
I'm not sure Paul got the joke. But in the end, all is well. Why? Because Heather Mills does charity work. She got 25 million pounds, I bet that money will touch the wizard of Oz' balls before it touches anything regarding charity.
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4 comments:
hmm i'm not sure it was as much as 25 million POUNDS, robbur.
however, as i've said hundred times before - SHE FUCKING HAD RIGHT TO IT! BIIIIG TIME! sucking that old crappy mouldy wrinkly piece of shit that he refer to as a dick is worth all the money in the world. so what if he played in a successful band like 100 years ago? he was still dumb enough to get married without a prenup so if nothing else it should work as reminder next time he decides to rebound by getting married!! GO HEATHER, GO HEATHER!
she'll be married again within two years. To Ringo Starr.
i like sluts too.
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