The most awkward of conversations.

We've all been through awkward conversations, and even though they're obviously of different magnitudes, they're probably equally horrible. Breakups, being fired, and serious conversations in general, tend to make me very uncomfortable. That's when I think about what must have been the most awkward conversation ever. That's why I'm sharing this, to help you guys out. If you think your conversation is awkward, just picture this dialogue play out, about 2009 years ago:

Josef: Hey honey, where have you been?
Mary: Errhm...Nowhere, just doing some grocery shopping.
Josef: Oh, okay. My day sucked, I had to do some bullshit carpentry for this dickhead who refused to be cooperative. Seriously, my day couldn't get any worse.
Mary: Josef, there's something you should know...
Josef: What? Did the fucking donkey run away again? I swear, I'm this close to killing that thing.
Mary: Josef, I'm pregnant.
Josef: You're what now?
Mary: I'm pregnant.
Josef: How is that possible? We haven't even slept together yet.
Mary: I know, but I just had to tell you. I couldn't lie anymore.
Josef: So...who's the father?
Mary: I think it might be...God.
Josef: ......You can't be serious.
Mary: I don't know who else it could be, I haven't slept with anyone, I swear!
Josef: Let me get this straight. My wife is pregnant, and I haven't slept with her. Therefore, I am to believe that God is the father? Did I perceive the situation correctly?
Mary: It's the truth!
Josef: Please do forgive me if I'm feeling a bit fucking sceptical about all this.
Mary: But...Oh, forget it.
Josef..........
Mary.............

About two hours later:

Josef: So, like...How was it?
Mary: What?
Josef: Having sex with God.
Mary: I don't know, you dipshit! I was just pregnant one day.
Josef: Well, one thing is for sure. I'm not living here anymore. Having to explain to people how God made my wife pregnant kind of sounds like a hassle. We should move.
Mary: Sure, I hear Jerusalem is nice! Let's go there. By the way, what should we name the kid?
Josef: Jesus Christ, I don't know! What kind of question is that?
Mary: I think you might be onto something.

The next time you think your conversation is awkward, you can borrow this one from me. Believe me, it's excellent stress-relief.