pure terror and the four walls

Living in New York has made me realize something. The world is a dangerous place, guys. Everyday there are multiple dangers hiding behind every corner, in every bush, and in every room. And I'm not just talking about physical or mental hazards, either. There is such a thing as a social hazard, and when it strikes, the outcome could be:

1. You might become an outkast.
2. Your relationship with you roommate will never be the same.

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this, but knowing me(and I'm assuming you do), you should be expecting a highly relevant question in the end. Now, when I said evil and danger might be lurking in every room, that's exactly what I meant. For now, we have to be cautious, not only when stepping into unknown territory, but also when we casually visit places and rooms we've hung out in hundreds of times before. For there are certain scenarios within those four walls that can break a household in two. You understand, of course, that I'm talking about walking in on your roommate while he is masturbating.

Now, you are probably thinking that the drama ends there. It does not. Not only is your roommate comfortably yet intensely pleasing himself in, what he thought was, the comfort of his end-zone, he's also watching a movie at the same time. And imagine that it's not porn, or even a slightly erotic movie(read: Wild things), but a fucking weird one. This got me thinking, what would you guys say is the weirdest movie to discover that your roommate is masturbating to(male or female)? Since we don't want to do this all fucking day, let's break it down to a top 5. Here's what I'm thinking:

-Philadelphia
-2001: A space odyssey
-The Shawshank Redemption
-Disney's Robin Hood
-Jaws

I'll let you guys mull that one over for a while, while I finish this strange train of thought. In retrospect, I guess I could question my roommates total inability to lock his fucking door, but I have no reason to get mad at him. I mean, I could say that it's pretty much his fault that I can no longer perform the most simple tasks, like getting ketchup out of a Heinz-bottle, but that would be unfair. It's me that has to roll with the punches, hit the bricks running, or whatever you would choose to call it. In the end, I guess what I've learned from all this nonsense can be summarized in one little word:

Knock.