Wednesday, February 13, 2008

shit, dude

There are certain things in life that people simply do not like. "Shit" is one of those things. I can definitely see where that fobia might spawn from, but it's kind of strange to me how much we hate other people's shit. This got me thinking about how shit affects us in everyday life, because there are certain aspects of it that simply do not make sense. 

Why are people afraid of taking a shit in public restrooms, even when they're nice ones? I mean, they're there for a reason.  All guys know the feeling when you've just had indian food(that's a fucking bear trap right there)and you have to rush off to the restrooms, but then you two feet into the room, you freeze. There's someone in the room. This isn't happening. Why, in gods name is there another person in a public restroom? This forces you to fake that you just need to pee until that person has left the room. The most excruciating scenario is when the other person is doing the exact same thing. 

Another thing that doesn't make sense, is the washing-your-hands aspect. People get fucking mad at you when you go to the bathroom and don't wash your hands. Admittedly, it is non-sanitary, but why is taking a shit so special? After all, shit->paper->hand probably isn't less sanitary than man with herpes->poles on the subway->feeding strawberries to your loved one in the park. The worst hypocrites of this scenario are people who yell at you for not washing your hands and then run off to kiss their dog on the mouth. This just in: Dogs E-A-T shit. 

Also, it says on the box that Corn Flakes have iron in them. Is that like real iron? How can it be good to eat real iron? Fucking weird, it's like if you have a hangover, you should eat your ipod.


3 comments:

Clémence Polès said...

You are deep. Britney's vagina deep.

Anonymous said...

hahaha word clemence!
(but seriously dude...wash your hands..)
/D

robmonZter said...

Just to clarify things: I do wash my hands after going to the bathroom.