Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in

I must apologize for my absence. Things have been crazy lately. Actually, that's a lie. I'm just lazy. I do have news, though! I am now in London again after venturing to Sweden, just to stay for like 14 hours before coming back here.

The topic of Sweden has started to fascinate me lately. Or rather, how fascinated other people are by Sweden. Really, how much do YOU know about Sweden? Disregarding the cute blonds. Although, disregarding "the cute blonds" doesn't really make any sense, since that would probably be the only reason why you would ever to go Sweden. It's kind of like standing on your roof, ready to jump off and thinking: What would be the argument for not jumping off my roof, disregarding "gravity"?

The great thing about Swedish blonds is not the fact that they're stupid. The greatest thing is that even though they're not stupid, they feel like they need to uphold some sort of image. Ergo, many of them ask before they think. Like the girl in junior high who raised her hand, stood up and asked the teacher what Hitler's last name was.

Another great thing about Sweden is that nobody fear us. Maybe that is because our soldiers wear berets. However, the fact that we are so non-intimidating didn't really help me get into the U.S, though. The guy who checked my passport seemed to think that if you look hard enough, my name might not be Jonsson anymore, but something more convenient. Like Semtex. I had to wait for two hours before I got called to the desk. Here are the questions that they asked me:



"Have you ever fired a weapon?"
"No, I thought you knew that I'm from ANOTHER country. Not this one."



"Have you ever been in the army?"
"No, Sweden hasn't had an army since the 18th century and we fought the Russians so I really don't know what your problem is."



Of course, if I had really said those things, they would have kicked the shit out of me.



As usual, I have sidetracked. London is great so far, I'm not a huge fan of the food, weather or women so far. My friend told me that opinion makes me a pessimist. I'd say that opinion makes me a citizen of the world. I'm getting a place pretty soon which is going to be fucking amazing, I'm done living out of a suitcase, for now. I plan on chillin' here until spring, spend a month or so in the U.S and then come back. Also, I found a place that sells old issues of The Face for 1 pound each. I bought issues from 1995 that had old pictures by Ellen Von Unwerth, Mario Sorrenti, Terry Richardson etc etc. Basically, awesome.





I'll tune in again soon, mom.




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