Welcome to the jungle

My good friend David has arrived! His first visit to the U.S is shaping up to be great. To make his trip as meaningful as possible, I have put together this small list of things to do/see in New York City. Please keep in mind that I will not be attending any of these events.

When being in a completely new environment, one should always start off by familiarizing themselves with it. This is were our first predicament occurs. Since my friend is a 6"5, 200 pound white guy, I took the liberty of giving him the same sign that Domino's delivery boys carry around with them in Bed-Stuy. You know, the one that says "I am currently only holding 20 dollars in cash".

The statue of Liberty is something that you have to see, I guess. I haven't because I hate walking around for 5 hours and then come home without a single piece of new clothing. What most people don't know about the statue of liberty is that the letters engraved on the statue, "July IV MDCCLXXVI" do not mean "July 4th, 1886". It's actually old french for "We're sorry we suck at war."

I guess that's it, right? Statue of liberty(check), walk around(check)....OH and also to go see the M(y) E(ntire) T(eam) S(ucks), just because they're cheaper than watching the Yankees, we don't understand baseball anyways.

So anyways, cruise over to Kermit the Frog if you want to read about his general thoughts of the U.S.