Long time no hear, my friends

Sorry I haven't updated you guys in a while. "Apology accepted". Thanks.

Anyways, I figured I'd write a little something about the movie that I paid 11 dollars to see today. My spontaneous reflection is that I would rather have spent that money on getting K-Fed to come to my next birthday party. "The assassination of Jesse James" was terrible. For numerous reasons:

Brad Pitt doesn't look remotely like Jesse James. He looks like what Jesse James would have needed to look like to fuck Angelina Jolie. Brad always delivers a solid performance though, nobody can deny the fact that Brad is simply cool. I'd go so far as to say that even the Fonz would agree. So would a surfer, but then again, he doesn't know the difference between "cool" and "unemployed". Skaters are cooler than surfers in so many ways but let's not get into that now. SO, THE MOVIE:

The guy who wrote the screenplay undoubtedly tried to kill me. Nobody tells a 3 hour story that boring, just to tell it. There must have been ulterior motives involved. Instead of being a drama-thriller, the movie focuses exclusively on the emotions and characters involving the murder of Jesse James. In my opinion, that's like casting Tobey Maguire to play Alexander the Great and then have him go on Ricky Lake, crying about how disappointed he was when he learned that you CAN catch herpes from persians aswell. You get the picture, it's simply the wrong way to go. This should have been a more action-filled-direct to the point, type of movie. The director should get some credit though, he managed to squeeze EVERYTHING that I didn't want to know about Jesse James into three hours of film. That definitely counts for something. Because of the fact that I have read some things about Jesse James before I saw the movie, I was able to keep up. The girl sitting next to me could just aswell have been watching Police Academy IV.

The good things about this movie, while being few, are surprising to me. Casey Affleck being the biggest surprise, he was great. Also, they did a great job in terms of special effects when peoples heads were blown off. Oh, and the different settings(although I never understood exactly where they were) were spectacular.

But in the end, it's like they took something that should have been a mad-max-renegade-with-a-slight-sensitive-touch type of movie and turned it into something that would have made even Shakespeare go: "Now, that's just gay."