she's gonna teach me how to swim.

Very superstitious.

I wouldn't say I'm a superstitious person, those people are stupid. I don't believe that some things mean bad luck; walking under ladders, breaking mirrors, spilling salt etc. However, there are certain things that bring bad luck upon you, for sure. A black cat crossing my path is way too random for it not to mean something. My most firm belief lies within the art of jinxing stuff that you really want to happen. I'm terrible at not jinxing things, which is why I made it my new years resolution. It is not going well. At all.

I have a couple of weird superstitions as well. For instance, I think it's bad luck fastening your seat-belt on an airplane. That's a really stupid one, right? You know what else is stupid? Not realizing that commercial airplanes are a relatively new invention. Hence, giving people the illusion of safety is still really important. Not a lot of people our age are afraid of flying, since we know that the million gadgets on an airplane have been checked a million times by people a million times smarter than us. However, airlines don't make their money off people like us, who pay 400 dollars for a round-trip ticket to New York. They make their money off our parents and grand-parents, who pay 1000+. People that age wouldn't fucking set foot on an airplane, unless there was a seat-belt.

Here's what I'm thinking. In terms of velocity, an airplane finds itself in four general situations:

1. Standing still
2. Going at slow speed(Backing out of the hangar etc)
3. Going at moderate speed(Take-off and Landing)
4. High speed(Mid-air)

1: The only things that could injure a passenger during this state, would be another plane crashing into the plane I'm in, or maybe an explosion. At what point during those scenarios is the 3-inch textile-strap going to do anything for me?

2 and 3: I think these two scenarios would occur in the same manner as a car crash. The natural outcome of a car crash(if you're not wearing a seat-belt) is being thrown out through the windshield, since there is no force to drive your body upwards, only forward. I don't think you've heard of anyone who has been in a car crash and have been thrown out through the roof. The same thing would happen in an airplane. If you're going at a slow/moderate speed, you would be jolted forward. This is were the airplane-seatbelts become pointless. Since airplanes don't have three-point seat belts(Swedish invention, thank you), your lower body will be strapped down, but your upper body will still be jolted forwards. Ergo, you will smash your fucking face against the seat in front of you, whether you're wearing a seatbelt or not.

4. You are going at a speed of like 600 mph. If you have a mid-air collision or crash, that thing is going to be about as useful as a combination between a Snickers-bar, a hockey-stick and a pair of dirty underwear from one of the former members of The Ramones.

Of course, I base these theories on absolutely nothing, it's just what I'm thinking. I'm not saying that people shouldn't wear seat belts on airplanes. I'm just trying to justify me being superstitious and a general fool.

Pictures from all the mayhem in Sweden are coming on Thursday. I have a shoot tomorrow, keep your fingers crossed, people.

// R

JE PEUX TOUCHER?

I miss Batman.

Even though most Swedes have a more than adequate knowledge when it comes to English, we still feel the need to translate things. The thing I don't get, is who picks what gets translated and what doesn't. For instance, why is "Spider-man" translated, but "Pirates of the Carribbean" isn't? I'd say, if you asked any child in Sweden what the "Carribbean" is, he/she would probably say something like "It's the place where Legolas lives these days." That would be the extent of it.

On a side-note, why are some things directly translated, while others aren't? Spider-man is a good example. In Swedish, his name is simply Spindelmannen, meaning exactly the same, Spider-man. Super-man, however, is called Stålmannen, which means Steel-man. The word Super is even a word in Swedish, and it's far more indicative of his abilities than Steel-man. If you want to do something about the name, make is less farfetched, not more? Do something about the name "X-men", for instance. To me, that sounds like a gang of middle-aged pseudo creeps that make S&M films when their wives are off playing squash. "X-men".

This is, by far, the dumbest one. My favorite character, possibly of all times, who has an awesome name, was completely left at the hands of Swedish translators. I don't know what they had been inhaling, I'm assuming it was something like kerosene. For eight months straight. Anyways, they decided to translate my favorite character's name "Bat-man"....to "Leather-patch". LEATHER-PATCH? Somewhere in Sweden, there is a degenerate fucking prick, who is laughing his ass off with his buddies. That has to be the biggest prank in subtitling history. I have never, in my life, heard a more stupid name for a super hero. "Leather-patch & Robin". Maybe they should have just made it "Leather-patch & Relatively small, often crimson-colored bird with a pleasant sound." Forgive me if I, as a criminal, wouldn't crap in my pants when I heard that Leather-patch & Robin were on my tail. Not only does it sounds like they're would be chasing me in a Mini-Cooper, they probably wouldn't venture to go over the speed-limit.

"Dude, we gotta bail, Leather-patch is on his way!"
"What, like a patch of leather? Can it walk, or is it attached to someones jacket?"
"No, the guy!"
"Forgive me if someone named after a small bit of carefully treated animal-skin isn't going to make me drop the Xbox 360 that I am trying to steal."
"Robin might be coming too!"
"Leather-patch AND Robin? This scenario just gets gayer by the minute, doesn't it?"
"Let's go, I hear he's dangerous!"
"He can't be that tough. Naturally, he is non-resistant to water. As for Robin, he's a grown man who wears tights and a red jumpsuit. His nemesis is probably every single person from the southern parts of the USA."
"Great, he's here. Why don't you go over there and splash some water on him? He's the huge, ripped guy with a cape, a bat-mobile, and a 2-inch belt that carries 400 gadgets. Go on, I'll wait."
"He's...He's bigger than I thought. Now, in which direction would you prefer to run? I think that way might be uphill."

We all know how the rest goes. Wait, I think I just got it. The name change actually benefits him in the end, since criminals underestimate him. You know what, fuck all that. Batman is simply the way it was meant to be.

Milli vanilli. classic.

What's worse, that this song was ever made, or the fact that I think it's awesome?

I'm semi-sick, although nobody believes me. On top of that, we had dinner with some friends last night. It was really nice, and after having complained about how sick I am(which nobody seemed to buy), we had cherries for desert. Now, I'm allergic to avocado, raw carrots, apple-peal etc etc. Also, I seem to be allergic to cherries. But I had already bitched about being sick, so I couldn't start bitching about the cherries too, so I had to sit there with a swollen throat until it was time to leave. It was like being in a song by Sugarhill-gang.

I'm back in London tomorrow, and I'm going to Sweden in a week. I'm really excited about it. I'm sorry that the pictures aren't coming, I still haven't gotten paid. Hopefully on Friday, god willing.