Swagger like stunts.

pic: me

It's been a while since I heard anything involving Cuzinier, Teki & that click, but I came across this randomly, so if you like TTC and the Cuizinier mixtapes, you might enjoy this. You've gotta hand it to Kanye, that beat is sick. Anyways, Nat's party is tonight and tomorrow, Hong Kong. Until then:

Cuizinier, Joke, Teki Latex & So Fresh Squad - Swagger Like Stunts

Those bug chasers sure are strange.

33 million people worldwide have the disease labeled as Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, more commonly known as AIDS. I started reading about it on Wikipedia and now I can't seem to stop. Apparently, HIV originated in west-central Africa during the late nineteenth or early twentieth century. I also read somewhere that AIDS was originally a monkey virus. Doesn't that make our current pandemic kind of strange, at least if you combine it with the fact that the disease only travels in these ways:

-Anal sex, vaginal sex, oral sex
-Blood transfusion
-Contaminated hypodermic needles
-Exchange between mother and baby during pregnancy
-Breastfeeding

I don't know about you guys, but I have never done any of those things to/with a monkey. Even I was really drunk, I don't think I'd consider any of them. In fact, I can almost say for sure that I wouldn't.

Another strange thing I read, was within all the myths that are related to AIDS. Apparently, some people believe that the cure for the disease involves having sex with a virgin. Now, what fucking tit of a fool came up with that? If I apply even a little logic to this theory, that means I am 100% sick, and the girl is 0% sick, thus the two of us having sex should bring us both to an even 50%. That just means now both of us are sick, you fucking dickheads. The only difference is that I am now half the amount of terminally ill. I guess your twisted logic fits your purpose much better, meaning that her divine cleanliness magically brings your 100% down to 0%. No fucking way, I refuse to believe that theory was made up by someone who genuinely thought he could get rid of his disease that way. Quite the opposite, it was made up by a man who had just come to terms with his fatal illness, and simply asked himself: "What do I want to do before I die?"

Another thing I discovered, was the phenomenon of "bug chasers". Bug chasers are homosexual men that desire and actively pursue an HIV infection. Sometimes, they organize "bug parties", where HIV positive and negative men engage in unprotected sex, in hopes of acquiring HIV. Now, I can't really decide if that's the best or worst party idea ever. I mean, on one hand, everyone will pretty much be fucking each other, not like, but because there's no tomorrow. On the other hand, it doesn't really have potential for being an annual thing, does it? At least not with the same crowd. Yeah...it's definitely the worst party idea ever.

I have been reading a lot about this, and I don't understand half of all the facts that actually lie behind this disease. There are symptoms here, causes there, a bunch of labor terms, and I even think I saw the name Ezy-E somewhere in there. It's all very confusing. All I know is that there are so many important issues in this world, and so many people are trying to sway your opinion closer to theirs. I don't deny people that right. I know that there are two sides to every story, but after reading about it for half an hour or so, I have to take a stand. If have to make an informed decision. And so, I have decided that I am most definitely against AIDS.

Yes, definitely against it. For sure.

So, this is a list of what concerts Nat would go to if I were paying(ongoing study, updates to follow):

YES:
-Blur
-Queen(only with original lineup)
-The Beatles(only with original lineup)

Maybe:
-Pulp
-Flight of the Conchords

No:
-Oasis

pic: Robbz Yeanz & Alex

I'm going to Hong Kong on Saturday for a couple of weeks to visit one of my good friends. I haven't seen him in like two years, thus I'm really looking forward to it.When I get back, I'll hopefully be shooting, and then I'm not sure if I'll go back to Sweden for like two weeks before venturing back to New York for two months. I've got tons of rolls that I haven't developed, since I figure it's probably dirt cheap to do it in Hong Kong, and they'll probably do it better. Hence, you can look forward to loads and loads of pictures next week. I will also be posting this years first "best of" album on my website. Should be good fun.

// R

JoJo&Malou A/W 09

So, I'm back in London and was supposed to shoot on Friday, but due to a clash with London FW, I had to push it forward. I'm doing it when I get back from Hong Kong, instead. And speaking of fashion week, check out my good friends Jojo&Malou's A/W 09 collection, entitled Handshake Heartbreak. Amazing as usual, I have come to expect nothing less from them:


Handshake Heartbreak from Jojo & Malou

the lizard king

There's one thing that always tends to get my attention: Random facts. Most of the time, it's just because I'm a total trivia-freak, but sometimes, I have to think: How the fuck did they figure that out, and why? I read a while back that there's a lizard that can climb up glass-windows and support like 16 times its own weight. Now, someone had to have spent time figuring that out. Is it just me, or did we just find the best job, like ever? If I were at a party, and someone asked me what I do for a living, I would love to have the genuine opportunity to say:

"Well, I test how much weight you can put on individual animals before they tip over."

And then keep a straight face.

Not only is there someone out there working on these kind of things, that person most likely has a degree of some sort. Imagine studying for years, just to have your work week look like this:

-So...what are we doing today?
-I think we're close to cracking that lizard case.
-Have you completed the special lizard backpack that will allow for us to test how much the designated reptile can carry?
-Yes, but unfortunately, I was just over the budget limit, since the little lizard flexi-straps are hard to come by these days.
-How much were you over?
-About 460 000 dollars. But it's okay, I re-routed some money from last years AIDS-benefit. We're good.
-Alright, let's get this show on the road. May god be with us.

2 years later

-We did it! This amazing lizard can carry 16 times its own weight! We must spread the word!
-Absolutely. If I had a girlfriend, or friends in general, I would like totally call them right now.
-It took us two years, but we did it. We finally did it. So...what do you want to do now?
-...the same thing, but with a squirrel?
-iiihh, I'll go get one! You go ahead and drain the fund from the cancer-benefit.

Global warming is about to melt the polar ice and we're all about to die. When I think of that, it makes me happy, knowing that there are qualified people out there, daily dedicating their entire existence to putting weights on small animals until they tip over. That's comforting.

Nat's b-day

If you're in London next week-end, you have to come to my good friend Nat's birthday party.

AWWW VALENTINE'S, no?

I would like to make something clear regarding Valentine's Day. This commercially sacred day of symbolic gifts, is also...my mothers birthday. For me, it has always been focused on something other than K-I-S-S-I-N-G people in trees. However, I feel the need to say that I'm getting sick and tired of all you pseudo revolutionaries out there who can't help but hate on something you don't even have to take part in. Just.Let.It.Be.

To me, there are two ways of looking at people who hate Valentine's:

1. You simply do not buy into all the bullshit. You're aware, smart, sufficiently cynical, hip, happening, and you have never seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies. Why? You haven't read the books, but you just know they must be better.
2. You don't have a partner to spoil/get spoiled by, and the possibility of that happening before clock strikes 12.01, is non-existent. Everyone knows it would take you at least 24 hours to change your personality and acquire a significant other. Hence, you hate Valentine's. And everyone who enjoys it. They all suck. As do the movies about that stupid hobbit and his fucking ring.

It's essential that you know, I'm not a complete sucker for Valentines. As such, out of respect for you Valentine-haters out there, I have taken the liberty of introducing a number of public holidays for you to go nuts over:

-"Trying desperately to have sex with people at the gym, since I don't have time for it at any other point"-day
-"Masturbating in front of the mirror"-day
-"Post-masturbating-crying in front of the mirror"-day
-"Tues"-day
-"Watching Love Actually by myself"-day
-"Wearing my Che Guevara t-shirt when clubbing"-day
-"Conducting my yearly efforts at convincing my friends I don't even need a partner, having a cat is better and less complicated"-day
-"Trying to deny that Lionel Richie's 'Endless Love' is my favorite song ever"-day

I think we're even now. Valentine's is the new black. Live with it.

Röyksopp vs Breakbot

pic: Robbster

I noticed that a lot of you downloaded the new Röyksopp song "Happy up here" that I posted, so I thought you might enjoy a remix as well. Apparently a lot of people don't like "Happy Up Here". It's been criticized for sounding too much like old material. I agree, it does sound a lot like "Eple". But you know what the difference is? This one is better. Don't hate, dipshits.

Röyksopp - Happy Up Here(Breakbot remix)

Where loosers are the best.

I feel like there might be certain essences of truth in life. Clearly, man has evolved beyond the hunter/gatherer scenario, but there's still a certain respect in being the big guy. Whoever comes up to that guy, trying to show off or give him shit, could always just get the response: "Sure, you're a professional athlete. You train 345 days a year, just to be injured for the olympics. You're 22 and considered really cool. But when it comes down to it, I could still kick the shit out of you."

End of discussion. I mean, what do you say to that? After all, it's true. This fact lead me to thinking: What is that place where nobody feels cool, except total loosers? I've got it right here: The gym. 

Rem Koolhas could walk in there with a posse of David Bowie, Steve Jobs, Noam Chomsky and JK Rowling. Now, these are some of the most accomplished people on earth, but that simply does not matter. They would all feel like complete fairies, whilst quietly trying to benchpress like four pounds. I'm telling you, all that guilt is due to that dumb fucking gym-grin that they put on. People who go to the gym a lot(meaning they have a shitty job that allows them to do so), have this little grin that they make when small people put in their futile efforts at benchpressing the equivalent of a remote control. I don't think it's because they want us to feel bad, it's because it makes them feel even better. While performing this vile grin, I picture one of these three things going through their head:

1. Man, I'm so glad I'm like totally huge.

2. Why is my face moving on it's own?

3. Oh my god...it's Tom Cruise. I can't believe I'm bigger than the guy who played Batman.

And what is it about people who work at the gym/at a gymstore? I mean, they're not blatantly unpleasant or demeaning, but why do you always end up feeling like shit after talking to them? Here's how a conversation with gym-staff always seems to go:

Staff: Hello there.

You: Hi, I need some advice. I don't go to the gym very often, you see.

Staff: Yes. I do see that. *chuckles*

You: So, what do I do? I have done sports all of my life: Racketball, Tennis, Soccer etc.

Staff: Well, the first thing I'm going to do, is put you in the beginners program, that's the lowest of the low.

You: I have done some sports bef...

Staff: No, you've had hobbies. Hobbies are for fun. This is serious training. It takes time. Do you have a job?

You: Yes, I'm an aero nautical engineer. *smiling*

Staff: Get rid of it. You're going to the gym now.

You: *not smiling anymore*

Staff: How much do you want to weigh? You're about 170 cm, so you should weigh about 200 kg in pure muscle. Does that sound like something you can do?

You: Well, I was just planning on staying in shape...

Staff: Shapes are for killerwhales and graphic designers. Here we get buff. I'm going to sign you up for the elite package, it's 1000 dollars per month. So for a year, thats... Hey, engi-queer, do you have a calculator?

You: It makes 12 000 dollars.

Staff: Right, and that includes useage of our super-sonic-laser suntanning bed. That bad-boy will make you look like.... well, me. *dumb grin*

You: But I don't think I want to spend that mu...

Staff: Hey, let me tell you something. I can fuck anytime I want. I just flex these bad boys, and the ladies come running to my basement apartment around the corner. My dick doesn't seem to work anymore, but the point is that girls always want to come home with me. Why? Because I'm confident, sexy, and fucking massive. Don't you want those things? 

You: Well, I guess, but... *Looking at the floor*

Staff: That's the spirit. Elite package it is. When you're done, you won't even know you ever had a dick to begin with. Now, let's fucking do this. Here's your yellow spandex, courtesy of the institution. Change in the back. I'll call your job and quit for you. I'm also divorcing your wife.

You: Okay... *Takes the yellow spandex and tries to figure out how this happened*

What I'm trying to say is: Don't let the people at the gym get you down. At least you have a cool job, you have friends that don't look like hairless grizzly bears, and at least your dick doesn't need crutches. 

A trip to imagination land.

Many philosophers and other fraudulent characters out there will tell you this: Life, my friends, is a journey. Everyone out there is somehow trying to maneuver from point A to point B. I would like to take you on one of those journeys right now.

Imagine that you are at point A. Point A, in this case, is a forest. God knows why you're there, but that's not the issue. The issue, is that you are late to point B. And you can't be late. Now, you're swiftly moving through this seemingly neverending forest, when an object stops you. There is an object in the way of your path to non-lateness. So, what do you do? After all, you can't be late. And so, in a rage of fury, you decide to go fucking bananas on this object. You start by ripping off the limbs of the object, then you move on to knocking out it's teeth, never forgetting to sporadically stomp on all vital/sacred parts. Then comes the stick. I'm not sure where it came from, but it's there. Now, you pound this object like never before, and it feels great. Right before the last little bit of life goes out of this poor object you rub tabasco in it's eyes. Now, the time has come to set the object on fire. Luckily, the object still has enough life in it to sense the heat coming. The object before you is burning with an absolute magnificence. You did good. This object will never block someone's pathway to point B again. And so, the last thing I want you to do, is imagine that the object before you, is Ryanair. I fucking hate Ryanair.

The whitest boy alive.

all pics: me,duh

No, this post is not about any of my friends. Being stranded in London is cozier than I expected. I went to do some research yesterday, but I didn't really find anything relevant. I'm shooting at the end of February, but the story and theme are still fairly blurry to me. If you've always wanted to plan a photo-editorial, feel free to go nuts with suggestions. If not, I'll have to figure something out myself.

In regards to the topic: The new album from The Whitest Boy Alive, entitled "Rules", is just what I needed right now. Unlike their previous stuff, this album is way more instrumental. For those of you who don't know this band, it's a side project by Kings of Convenience singer Erlend øye. It's kind of an acquired taste, but I like it. The problem is that every time I hear this band, I'm reminded of how anxiously I'm awaiting the next Kings Of Convenience album.

The Whitest Boy Alive - 1517

The Whitest Boy Alive - Keep A Secret



And two oldies, just for the sake of it:

The Kings of Convenience - I Don't Know What I Can Save You From(Röyksopp remix)

Erlend øye - A Sudden Rush

Tony Kelly

It's been a while since I recommended a cool photographer that I randomly sourced. These are images from a series I came across and they're great. Not much more to say, really. In short, a good mix between fashion and humor.

Tony Kelly

Happy birthday, tiny danceeeer

Today is my best bud's birthday. I was supposed to be there and congratulate him, but the snow made that impossible. I'm now stuck in London until Thursday night. Anyways, happy birthday, dude: